WARNING! This article is humorous and is in no way your portrait! Do not get angry! Check out the article about your many qualities first! "The qualities of Taurus"

Their unlimited gluttony leads them to all kinds of excess, compelling them to develop machiavellian strategies with the single aim of satisfying their immediate desires. In love, as soon as their prey has been captured, they don't encumber their existence with poetry or sentiments anymore. In their company no philosophic reasoning is accepted, either before, after or in the process of an embrace.

They turn out to be first-rate partners if you ignore their jealousy and follow their almost animal sensuality! These are materialists who take real delight in luxury. They can't see past their own nose since they purely and simply are ordinary peasants! The intellectual and abstract aspect of things is beyond their comprehension as they are too busy to contemplate their expanded plumpness in front of a mirror.

Weak points of Taurus in heart affairs

Taureans are extremely possessive and rancorous
They persevere in a somewhat primal quest of various delights and their tenacity can rapidly transform into shiftlessness.

Single: They are suspicious and rather slow lovers who often wait for their partner to jump into their hands freshly cooked.
In couple: These are demanding partners in what concerns their comfort, they can be as scanty in offering gifts as in demonstrating their affection.

They get on well with Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces
They don't get on with Leo and Aquarius

Men:
1st decan (April 21 - May 1): The men of this decan are slow in choosing as they condition all their feelings and take a long time to think. Their life is in a smooth run: changing it is extremely difficult to them.
2nd decan (May 2 - 11): This decan is mistrustful. These men possess a powerful and materialistic nature and can also be libertine.
3rd decan (May 12 - 20): These men are a nature's force, courageous up to obstinacy. They are too lucid to be really sentimental.

Women:
1st decan (April 21 - May 1): These women are too realistic for being romantic. They don't idealize love and look for a relation stable and sensual at the same time.
2nd decan (May 2 - 11): This decan combines naivety and materialism. Adventure, changes and the unknown are absolutely out of attraction for these women. They are exclusive, often jealous.
3rd decan (May 12 - 20): This decan doesn't make too many concessions. These are women whose point of view is impossible to be altered. They are not always really sweet...

Weak points of Taurus in friendships sphere

Taureans are envious, greedy, insatiable and jealous
These are friends who can be very resistant in an unstable or eccentric environment. Once they get angry with someone, it's really difficult for them to make it up...

Long-standing friendship: Taureans take a long time to stop being angry but when their mood has changed they can't be distracted by a nursery rhyme. This is one of the most rancorous and stubborn Zodiac signs. Depending on the circumstances, they can turn into avid revolutionaries or intractable dictators.
Party: They are strong-willed and not quite apt to compromise, their provocative aspect can give rise to whirls in their company and they are never the first to shut up, even if they should.

Important: if you don't recognise yourself 100%, don't panic, you can check out your Ascendant profile for adding to your portrait
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Weak points of Taurus in family life

Taureans are conservative, headstrong, ravenous and possessive
This is one of the most rancorous and stubborn Zodiac signs. Woe to him who touches their belongings: they run a risk of exhausting trench war as a Taurean will not lay the arms down.

In duet: They are insatiable, exclusive and rancorous and will only be able to find common ground with a partner who is submissive to their monstrous appetites...
In family: Parents Taureans are very stubborn whereas kids need as much flexibility and comprehension as discipline. Their obstinacy entails difficult moments during their children's adolescence! Taurean kids start walking late, they are lazy or indolent, learn slowly and in the end are quite conventional: not endowed with overflowing imagination, their phantasms arise from a secured and comfortable home.

Weak points of Taurus in the career field

Taureans are avaricious, vindictive, dependent, voluptuous
Taurean people are of exasperating slowness and never change anything in their methods from the first to the last day of their career. They are neither modern nor innovative, they do with making the others' discoveries bear fruit and taking credit for it.

As colleagues they are very possessive about their affairs, incapable of sustaining a dispute without growing obnoxiously ungracious.

As bosses they are headstrong and choleric, requiring everyone to follow their rails without a slightest deviation.

When independent, they are mean-spirited and in two minds about spending a least penny; they gratify their employees with impressive strokes of anger.

Memo of the Taureans' weak points: stubborn, slow, jealous, gourmand

What is worst: Taureans are fundamentally possessive: even when they offer a gift, they know its price to the least penny.

Advice: Keep being firm and enduring, preserve your epicurean and cordial aspect. Your natural sensuality and tender warmth are major advantages of your seductive power.
However your will turns to obstinacy and your stability to immobility just too fast. Your healthy sane sensuality leads you to jealousy or to less sane delights.